These laws are all true, some of them are hundreds of years old but are still legally in force.

Personally I wouldn't like to go by them in a court, Their entertainment value is higher than then literal value.

English law's

If a self-propelled carriage is driven on the Queens highway (any road) then a man must walk 4 miles in front of it waving a red flag (by day) and a red lantern by night.

It is illegal to drive a self-propelled carriage any faster than 4 MPH on the Queens highway.

All males over the age of 14 are to carry out 2 hours of longbow practice every week, supervised by a member of the clergy.

London  Hackney carriages (taxi cabs) must carry a sack of oats and a bale of hey.

It is illegal to be intoxicated on licensed premises .(  All pubs, bars and cocktail lounges)

It is illegal to impersonate a Chelsea Pensioner.

It is illegal to heckle the town crier.

Hanging a bed out of a window for any purpose is Illegal.

It is illegal to leave luggage unattended.

It is construed as an act of terrorism to pick up any abandoned luggage.

It is Illegal for any member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

A male may legally urinate in public as long as it is over the rear wheel of his vehicle and his right hand is touching the vehicle at the same time.

It is illegal to commit suicide and carries an imprisonment sentence. (repealed )

Interfering with the Monarchs mail or sleeping with the consort of the Monarch is Highly illegal and carries the maximum penalty of death by hanging. (repealed in 1998)

Placing a postage stamp that bears a picture of the Monarch upside down indicates treason and carries a life sentence.

A lady can not eat chocolate on public transport.

It is illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas day. 

English City laws.

Hereford

It is illegal to shoot a Welshman in a Cathedral with a long bow on Sundays.

Chester

You may only shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow within the city walls after midnight.

York

It is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a long bow on any day of the week except Sundays.

Liverpool

It is illegal for a female to be topless in public unless she is a clerk in a tropical fish shop.

American law's

( Examples from every State ! )

Alabama

Dominoes CANNOT be played on a Sunday. 

It is illegal to wear a joke moustache in a church. 

It is illegal to spit in front of the opposite sex.

Alaska

It is illegal to wake a sleeping bear to take its photograph.

It is an offence to push a live moose from an airplane.

Arizona

It is illegal to refuse a person a glass of water.

Donkeys are NOT allowed to sleep in bathtubs.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar you may only defend yourself with a weapon that is the same as is being used against yourself.

In Tombstone is it illegal to have less than one missing tooth when smiling (aged 18 and over)

Arkansas

Arkansas MUST be pronounced 'Arkansaw' at all times.

A man MAY legally beat his wife once a month.

California

Women may NOT drive in a house coat.

Police can arrest you if you shoot any animal from a moving vehicle except a whale.

In Carmel county: Ice cream may not be eaten on the sidewalk (pavement) (repealed by Clint Eastwood when he was Mayor)

In Hollywood: You may not drive more than 2000 sheep at any one time down the street.

In Long beach : Cars are the ONLY objects allowed in a garage.

In Los Angeles: Toads CANNOT be licked at any time for any purpose.

" Ribbit Ribbit etc .."

A man MAY beat his wife as long as the strap is no wider than 2 inches.

Colorado

You CANNOT drink and ride whilst intoxicated (a horse)

Car dealers MAY not show their cars for sale on a Sunday

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Connecticut

A pickle MUST be able to bounce before it can legally be called a pickle.

It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

The marriage of feebleminded persons is illegal.

Delaware

It is illegal to fly over any body of water without a packed lunch and a bottle of water.

Florida

Women who are NOT married may not parachute on a Sunday.

You may NOT break wind in a public place after 6 Pm.

Horse theft still holds the death penalty.

It is illegal to eat cottage cheese in  the Tampa bay area after 6 pm.

Georgia

It is illegal to carry an ice-cream cone in your back pocket on Sundays.

In Acworth county : You MUST own a garden rake.

In Kinnesaw : You MUST own a firearm.

Hawaii

You MUST own a boat.

It is illegal to put coins in your ears.

You CANNOT annoy any bird with whistles or shouts but may be permitted to speak to them.

Idaho

You CANNOT fish whilst riding a camel.

You CANNOT ride a Merry-go-round on a Sunday.

Illinois

Eavesdropping is illegal.

It is illegal to give a dog alcohol.

Wheelbarrows up for sale cannot be chained down.

you CANNOT pull faces at a dog.

Indiana

It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday

Beer stores and Liquor stores CANNOT sell milk.

Grocery stores CANNOT sell beer or whiskey.

It is illegal to carry a cocktail from a bar to a table, a cocktail waitress has to do it.

Iowa

All one armed pianists must play for free and must never charge or face a jail sentence.

A man with a moustache may NOT kiss a woman in public.

Kansas

Rabbits may NOT be shot from motor boats.

You CANNOT catch fish with your bare hands under any circumstances.

Kentucky

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow.

A woman my NOT buy a hat without her husbands permission.

Louisiana

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

You  may NEVER  tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Maine

You MUST take a shotgun to church incase of attack by natives.

Stepping out of a plane in flight carries a jail sentence.

Maryland

It is illegal to grow thistles in your front yard, the back yard is fine.

In Columbia : Clothes lines are illegal.

Massachusetts

Children MAY smoke but may NOT purchase cigarettes.

Gorillas can only ride in the front of cars NEVER in  the back.

You CANNOT deface a milk carton.

Witches are illegal both in practice and dress.