These laws are all true, some of them are hundreds of years old but are still legally in force.

Personally I wouldn't like to go by them in a court, Their entertainment value is higher than then literal value.

English law's

If a self-propelled carriage is driven on the Queens highway (any road) then a man must walk 4 miles in front of it waving a red flag (by day) and a red lantern by night.

It is illegal to drive a self-propelled carriage any faster than 4 MPH on the Queens highway.

All males over the age of 14 are to carry out 2 hours of longbow practice every week, supervised by a member of the clergy.

London  Hackney carriages (taxi cabs) must carry a sack of oats and a bale of hey.

It is illegal to be intoxicated on licensed premises .(  All pubs, bars and cocktail lounges)

It is illegal to impersonate a Chelsea Pensioner.

It is illegal to heckle the town crier.

Hanging a bed out of a window for any purpose is Illegal.

It is illegal to leave luggage unattended.

It is construed as an act of terrorism to pick up any abandoned luggage.

It is Illegal for any member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

A male may legally urinate in public as long as it is over the rear wheel of his vehicle and his right hand is touching the vehicle at the same time.

It is illegal to commit suicide and carries an imprisonment sentence. (repealed )

Interfering with the Monarchs mail or sleeping with the consort of the Monarch is Highly illegal and carries the maximum penalty of death by hanging. (repealed in 1998)

Placing a postage stamp that bears a picture of the Monarch upside down is treason and carries a life sentence.

A lady can not eat chocolate on public transport.

It is illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas day. 

English City laws.

Hereford

It is illegal to shoot a Welshman in a Cathedral with a long bow on Sundays.

Chester

You MAY shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow within the city walls after midnight only.

York

It is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a long bow on any day of the week except Sundays.

Liverpool

It is illegal for a female to be topless in public unless she is a clerk in a tropical fish shop.

American law's

( Examples from EVERY State ! )

Alabama

Dominoes CANNOT be played on a Sunday. 

( " How about poker ? " )

It is illegal to wear a joke moustache in a church. 

( " The real one is in my pocket though ! " )

It is illegal to spit in front of the opposite sex.

( " Quick, turn around. " )

Alaska

It is illegal to wake a sleeping bear to take its photograph.

( " shall we wake that bear, do you think that it would be mad at us if we did ??" )

It is an offence to push a live moose from an airplane.

( " Your skydiving lessons have been cancelled Mr. Moose..sorry !" )

Arizona

It is illegal to refuse a person a glass of water.

( " What if he's drowning ? " )

Donkeys are NOT allowed to sleep in bathtubs.

( " Go and wash Billy !... I cant mom !  there's a donkey in the tub! " )

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar you may only defend yourself with a weapon that is the same as is being used against yourself.

( "  Hold on.. Let me just go down to the store and get a baseball bat " )

In Tombstone is it illegal to have less than one missing tooth when smiling (aged 18 and over)

( " But it wasn't a smile officer ! It was a grimace ! " )

Arkansas

Arkansas MUST be pronounced 'Arkansaw' at all times.

( " Why don't they just change the name of the damn place TO Arkensaw ? " )

A man MAY legally beat his wife once a month.

( " Whether she deserves it or not ? " )

California

Women may NOT drive in a house coat.

( " Does this mean that men CAN ?? " )

Police can arrest you if you shoot any animal from a moving vehicle except a whale.

( " I was aiming at that whale over yonder Officer!, but accidentally shot that Jack-rabbit " )

In Carmel county: Ice cream may not be eaten on the sidewalk (pavement) (repealed by Clint Eastwood when he was Mayor)

( " Go ahead punk ! make my chocolate chip " )

In Hollywood: You may not drive more than 2000 sheep at any one time down the street.

( " I've got 2001 sheep, Will any one notice ? " )

In Long beach : Cars are the ONLY objects allowed in a garage.

( " Why am I under arrest officer ? Well Sir... you have a bucket in your garage. " )

In Los Angeles: Toads CANNOT be licked at any time for any purpose.

" Ribbit Ribbit etc .."

( " lollipop sales have soared since this law came about ! " )

A man MAY beat his wife as long as the strap is no wider than 2 inches.

( " Get me that measure Wife, and if its 2 or less your in for it ! " )

Colorado

You CANNOT drink and ride whilst intoxicated (a horse)

( " I knew that I had to stop at that red light Officer, but the horse didn't ! " )

Car dealers MAY not show their cars for sale on a Sunday .

( " I was just rehearsing for Monday, Officer,  Honestly ! " )

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

( " The loop-hole in this is......  how could she complain " )

Connecticut

A pickle MUST be able to bounce before it can legally be called a pickle.

( " VACANCY: Pickle bouncer required. Apply within, must be experienced at bouncing a variety of pickles to the required height " )

It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

( " Seeing where you have been  is illegal ???? " )

The marriage of feebleminded persons is illegal.

( " Newsflash : All Politicians seek immediate divorce " )

Delaware

It is illegal to fly over any body of water without a packed lunch and a bottle of water.

( " This is you Captain speaking, We are now flying over a lake please get your sandwiches out, Thank you " )

Florida

Women who are NOT married may not parachute on a Sunday.

( " Will you marry me Jack? Oh Jill, do you love me ? No Jack ,but it's Sunday and I want to go parachuting today ! " )

You may NOT break wind in a public place after 6 Pm.

( " It was the floorboards Officer ! " )

Horse theft still holds the death penalty.

( " ! " )

It is illegal to eat cottage cheese in  the Tampa bay area after 6 pm.

( " Halt ! Stop eating that cottage cheese or I will fire ! " )

Georgia

It is illegal to carry an ice-cream cone in your back pocket on Sundays.

( " I got to admit this is a toughie ! " )

In Acworth county : You MUST own a garden rake.

( " But I live in a mobile home  officer ! " )

In Kinnesaw : You MUST own a firearm.

( " Put your hands in the air and I will fire, reach for your gun and hey that's ok you can go ! " )

Hawaii

You MUST own a boat.

( " Incase Hawaii sinks or what ? " )

It is illegal to put coins in your ears.

( " Pardon ? pardon what was that ? " )

You CANNOT annoy any bird with whistles or shouts but may be permitted to speak to them.

( " Oh my dear that nice naughty bird has done a mess on the bonnet of my car " )

Idaho

You CANNOT fish whilst riding a camel.

( " All I can see is..... sand... just   er  sand  everywhere ??!! " )

You CANNOT ride a Merry-go-round on a Sunday.

( " Your under arrest for going round and round and round and round........... " )

Illinois

Eavesdropping is illegal.

( " A suitable warning sign could be an ear with a diagonal red line going through it ! " )

It is illegal to give a dog alcohol.

( " Is this because they never get the next round in ! " )

Wheelbarrows up for sale cannot be chained down.

( " I wanted to test push it, Officer but I couldn't, go and arrest the owner !  " )

you CANNOT pull faces at a dog.

( " Woof Woof wooffy woof woof; I think the dog is putting in a complaint Sarge, but I can't be too sure ?? " )

Indiana

It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday

( " Take car today pay nothing that's right pay nothing till tomorrow (Monday) " )

Beer stores and Liquor stores CANNOT sell milk.

( " Milk bottles and cartons for sale, free milk inside ! " )

Grocery stores CANNOT sell beer or whiskey.

( " Same as above here would pass this Law by I think, haha hehe " )

It is illegal to carry a cocktail from a bar to a table, a cocktail waitress has to do it.

( " Er why not just tell patrons to order at the table Huh ?? " )

Iowa

All one armed pianists must play for free and must never charge or face a jail sentence.

( " Pity this law does not apply to one armed bandits (fruit machines) " )

A man with a moustache may NOT kiss a woman in public.

( " SHE kissed ME, honest officer I couldn't do a thing ! " )

Kansas

Rabbits may NOT be shot from motor boats.

( " I didn't know that Rabbits were amphibious !!!! " )

You CANNOT catch fish with your bare hands under any circumstances.

( " I'm wearing gloves  God Damn it Officer ! " )

Kentucky

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow.

( " I intent to beat the fish with the bow and cook it on the arrow Officer, Honest " )

A woman my NOT buy a hat without her husbands permission.

( " Hello is that the Police, well my next door neighbour is wearing a new hat and I am damn sure her husband is on a business trip ! " )

Louisiana

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

( " Mouthwash soon to be outlawed !! " )

You  may NEVER  tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

( " Outside the Toys 'R' Us bike stand   yeah sure that's fine !" )

Maine

You MUST take a shotgun to church incase of attack by natives.

( " Even if you don't actually intend on GOING to church ?? " )

Stepping out of a plane in flight carries a jail sentence.

( " Er death sentence I think would be more suitable (carried out immediately) " )

Maryland

It is illegal to grow thistles in your front yard, the back yard is fine.

( " Erm   yah ! " )

In Columbia : Clothes lines are illegal.

( " I'm working on this one folks ! " )

Massachusetts

Children MAY smoke but may NOT purchase cigarettes.

( " Batman magazine, Sesame Street puppet, colouring book and pick us up a pack of Winston 20s please daddy !" )

Gorillas can only ride in the front of cars NEVER in  the back.

( " Its easier to hear their directions, apparently ! " )

You CANNOT deface a milk carton.

( " Imagine sitting in a cell with a murderer and he asked you what you did to get in  jail ? " )

Witches are illegal both in practice and dress.

( " 'The Wizard Of Oz', must be very heavily censored in this State  too " )