All of these notices were written in English, or a poor attempt at English. They have been discovered throughout the world.

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In a Tokyo hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such a thing please do not read this notice  


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In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we
regret that you will be unbearable


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In an elevator in Leipzig:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up 

 

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In a hotel elevator in Belgrade:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national
order


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In a hotel in Paris:

Please leave your values at the front desk 


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In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
of 9 and AM daily


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In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid


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In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid 


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 In a Moscow hotel across from an Orthodox Monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday


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In an Austrian mountain side hotel:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
boots of ascension


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THERE NOW FOLLOWS A QUICK CARTOON INTERMISSION.

 

END OF INTERMISSION. Normal service will now be resumed. Thank You.

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On the menu at a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for 


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On the menu at a Polish hotel:

Salad a firm's own make : limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger : roasted duck let loose :
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion


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Outside a tailors shop in Hong Kong:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs 


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In a dry cleaners in Bangkok:

Drop your trousers here for best results 


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Outside a Dress shop in Paris:

Dresses for street walking 


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In a Tailors in Rhodes:

Order your summers suit. Because is a big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation


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From a Russian Weekly Magazine:

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 5,000 Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors.  These were executed over 
the past two years


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A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each 
other for the purpose


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In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest methodists 


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In a launderette in Rome:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time


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 Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass ?  


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In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today -- no ice cream  


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In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions 


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On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, then you are welcome to
it


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In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty


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In the office of a Doctor in Rome:

Specialist in women and other diseases 


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In an Hotel in Acapulco:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here 


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In a shop in Tokyo:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best
in the long run


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In a hotel in Japan:

Cooles and Heates : If you want just condition of warm in your
room, please control yourself


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From a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet
him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
then tootle him with vigor


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From a shop entrance in Majorca:

- English well talking.
- Here speeching American 

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